Are you doing what you want to be doing?

Every now and then, a question cuts through all the noise:

Am I really doing what I want to be doing?

Not what I fell into.
Not what I got good at.
Not what looks sensible on paper.
Not what other people expect from me.

What do I actually want?

I know that question well.

I’ve had moments in my own life where, on the outside, things looked successful enough. I had experience, momentum, options, and a decent story to tell. But underneath that, there were times I knew I was not fully where I wanted to be. I was performing capability, but not always feeling deeply aligned. I was moving, but not always in the direction that felt most true.

That question has shaped a lot of my life and work.

And I see it in clients all the time too.

One client came to me thinking they needed help with a CV. What they actually needed was permission to admit they had outgrown the career path they were on.

Another thought they needed more confidence. What they really needed was a clearer vision of the life they wanted, because confidence is much easier to build when you are moving towards something that actually matters to you.

Another was successful on paper, but quietly flat. Once we dug deeper, it became obvious they were spending too much of their life in roles, rhythms, and expectations that looked good but did not feel good.

That is why I wanted to share a simple exercise with you.

Not because you need to have all the answers today.

But because sometimes one honest moment of reflection is enough to show you where you have been settling, drifting, or disconnecting from yourself.

The “Is This Really My Life?” Exercise

Give yourself 15 to 20 minutes.
A notebook is better than your phone for this one.

1. Write down what your life currently looks like

Keep it factual.

What fills your week?
What takes most of your energy?
What do you spend your time thinking about?
What role are you playing in your work, relationships, and day-to-day life?

No judgment yet. Just tell the truth.

2. Write down what you say you want

What do you keep telling yourself you want more of?

More freedom?
More money?
More energy?
More purpose?
More time?
A new career?
A healthier relationship with work?
A business that actually excites you?
A version of success that feels like yours?

Write it down plainly.

3. Circle what is not matching

Look at your answers from steps one and two.

Where is the disconnect?

Where are you saying one thing but building another?

Where are your habits, choices, routines, or commitments pulling you away from what you say matters?

This is often the moment where the exercise gets interesting.

4. Answer these five questions

Be honest. Brutally honest if needed.

• What part of my life currently feels most “off”?

• Where am I tolerating something that no longer fits?

• What am I doing because I want it, and what am I doing because it has become familiar?

• If nothing changed in the next 12 months, what would disappoint me most?

• What would I do differently if I trusted myself more?

5. Write your ideal ordinary week

Not your fantasy life.
Not a lottery-win version.

Your ideal realistic week.

How do you want to spend your mornings?
What kind of work are you doing?
How do you want to feel on a Tuesday afternoon?
Who are you around?
What are you no longer making time for?
What has more space in it?

This matters because vision is not just about big goals.
It is about the shape and feel of your actual life.

6. Choose one move

Not ten. One.

One conversation.
One application.
One boundary.
One decision.
One piece of honesty.
One hour blocked out to think.
One step towards the version of life you say you want.

That is enough to begin.

A final thought

A lot of people do not need more motivation.

They need a more honest relationship with themselves.

Sometimes the problem is not lack of ability.
It is misalignment.
It is staying too long.
It is building a life around old expectations instead of current truth.

If this exercise stirs something up for you, pay attention to that.

That discomfort might not be a problem.
It might be information.

And if you want help making sense of what comes up, I’d love to help.

I offer a free 20-minute chat where we can explore where you are, what feels off, what you want more of, and what could be possible through coaching.

If this newsletter hits a nerve, that might be your sign.

Book a 20-minute chat with me here

James